Happy Birthday!!

Happy Birthday to the love of my life!!! Today, Gary turns 60 years old. OMGness...where has the time gone?

I "discovered" Gary when I was 12 years old. We had just started going to Gospel Assembly Church when it was in downtown Houston. One night, before services started, Gary walks through the door at the front of the church to go to the band area. To this day, I cannot understand why I had not seen him before. But....I am so glad I saw him that night!!

My heart, at 12 years old, was taken. It sounds funny because I was so young, but I knew....I KNEW!! However, at that time, he was not reciprocating my feelings...LOL He was a 13 year old boy who was totally NOT interested. That did not daunt me at all. As silly little girls will do, I "chased" him shamelessly.

I would watch his every move....and when I would see him go out a door, I would run as fast as I could to make sure that we would meet up. Thinking about this now cracks me up!! hahaha I would get doors slammed in my face. Can't say I blame him....but that would leave me in tears. He would talk to other girls....and I would "die".

Four years later, when I was 16 years old, things began to change. I had a friend who was getting married to my cousin. It just so happened that Gary was friends with my cousin and was going to be in the wedding party. So.....my friend and I figured out that she would have me walk down the aisle with him.....which would have us walking arm in arm back up the aisle when the ceremony was over. How could it get any better!!! I was easy to please....arm in arm was good!!

I must say that I looked awesome that day in my beautiful peach brocade dress. And I could tell that Gary thought so too. :-) I just KNEW that night, after church service, he would finally ask me out. *sigh* He did not....and I was crushed.

However, it was not long before we became "an item".

We dated for a little over 2 years and then we got married. I was only 18...he was 19. This year, we have been married for 40 years. It blows my mind to think that so much time has passed!! I am so thankful that I still have him in my life. HAPPY BIRTHDAY SWEETIE!

Family Matters

I did not grow up with having a father at home....and that has always made me so sad. When I was around other children who had moms and dads at home, I thought they were the luckiest people in the whole world. My dream, as I grew older, was of having my own children and creating a family of my own. They would grow up...have children, etc. I dreamed of huge gatherings at our home for the holidays. It would be our turn, Gary and mine, to be the matriarchs of the family. It has not turned out that way at all......but there are still blessings to be had.

I have a mom, sister and 2 brothers....but they all live their separate lives, minus me. This has been so hard for me to deal with. I love all of them so much and would love to receive that back from them. However, for whatever reason, that has not been the case. Only recently has it come to me that I have to trust that God knows best.....because I know that He loves me and He knows the pain this has caused me. So, little by little, I am doing my best to let go.....and just trust. Not easy....not at all. But trust I must!!!

We have a daughter that goes years without us seeing her. No calls, no letters....nothing. We never know where she is or if they are ok.....a parents...and grandparents, nightmare!! She has 2 sons that we know little more than their names. Another heart pain that becomes unbearable at times........but God knows......and I must trust!!

I have spent years begging the Lord to bring these loved ones back into my life. If anything, it only gets worse. I may never know the reason why this has to be...but I am becoming more settled about it as I realize that He has heard all those prayers, seen all the tears...but this is what my life is to be. I must accept what is. He sees so much farther down the road than I do...and I must trust!!!

Not long ago I went through several days of heart wrenching tears because I was hurting so much over my family situation. I had been telling God that if He would speak to me about it I would do my very best to hear....and to listen. One day the thought came to me so clearly ~"Your family is right next door". So plain.......so overwhelming!!!

I realized then that I have spent so many years crying for what I did not have that I had not truly learnt to appreciate the 10 wonderful family members that live right across the driveway from us. Our oldest daughter, Denise, her husband Lloyd, and their 8 children have been with us all these years, yet I felt like we had no family. Shame on me for being so blinded!!

I feel like I can now place my focus where it should have been a long time ago. It does not do any of us any good at all to weep for what we do not have....to let it so consume our thoughts that we can hardly breathe...at least that was how it felt for me. These 10 "family" members are the most awesome people who have such love for each other......and most importantly, for the Lord. What more could a parent/grandparent hope for!!!