LORD....Burn Me!!!

When I decided to write a blog, I named it ~ several times. It was hard to come up with something that seemed right. Finally, I decided on Growth Is A Process....and I like it.

The past 2 weeks have been some of the most difficult days that I have had in quite a while. But through it all, I have learned some valuable lessons concerning myself.

It is 6 a.m., and I have not gone to sleep yet. I tried...but my mind was racing with so many troubling thoughts. I was wronged...by people that I loved...and it hurt my heart so much. I felt such anger...spite...and my mind kept warring with those who caused my pain. I wanted to say things to them. Then my mind got really busy!!! I wanted to run away....quit...never try again. My head hurt...my stomach hurt....I cried and cried till my eyes were almost swollen shut...and I was just so very angry!! It was not fair!!

In the past, I would have acted upon all of these emotions...and I almost did this time. But there was a difference this time. I did not want to give in to it like I had year after year. I did not want the misery that had plagued most of my adult life. So, I waited (for I have always been a person who would react too quickly, and was always sorry that I did!!)...and after I had several days to calm down and think about it, I knew where to turn to find the peace that I needed. And so I talked with the Lord....and He showed me things about myself that still needed to be worked on. Oh, I have improved greatly...but not to the point of perfecting the thoughts and reactions that I was feeling. And I appreciate that these things were pointed out to me because now I can jump back in and go back to working on the old Linda. She is not someone that I liked. And I will NOT let her back into my life. I like who I am becoming.

So I say "BURN ME LORD"....burn out all of the ugliness that has been within me for so long because through the fires of trials we grow. And I want to grow to be a pillar....a stone God can use. It did not take me so long this time to come around in my mind and heart the way the Lord would want me to act...and react.

I no longer am feeling the way I did for days. I can now go to bed....and sleep a good sleep. For now, the fires have gone out and I feel peace once again. And who knows, maybe there is something much better ahead for me. I am thankful that I know God is working on me. I would be scared to death if He wasn't!!!